I, a very successful Business Analyst, was referred to a well known psychiatrist for stress management issues. I lay on his couch, griped and whined about the issues faced at work, my health, confused and angry of the way life was throwing problem at me. The good doctor listened in silence and asked a question. "Where were you the happiest as a child?" I stopped, surprised in the middle of my tirade and answered "Why, at the Beach!" He reached and wrote something in 4 bits of paper, folded them and handed the bits to me. “Take a day off, Go to the Beach tomorrow. Take these at an interval of 3 hours starting at 10 in the morning". “You must be joking" I answered, "Trust me, wait till you see my bill" He said and buzzed me out.
The next day, I was at the beach sitting in my car, feeling rather silly, nevertheless obeying all the instructions handed out to me. I was not to take any form of additional recreation, no phones and no watch. I was not to open my 'prescriptions' before time. It was a week day and the beach as empty except for a few people. I looked at the sun, judging it might be 10 or so, opened my first medicine and read the words slowly...
Listen Very Carefully: Puzzled I turned and looked around. There was nothing but the sound of waves crashing on the rocks. Was that what I was supposed to listen to? Probably not. I got out of the car and walked to the beach. I sat near a clump of grass and closed my eyes. Beneath the sounds of waves, I could hear the whisper of the wind on the grass. Nearby a sandpiper whistled and ran past me. He stopped and looked at me, wondering what business I had there. He hopped and flew to a twig and went about the business of building his home. I got up and walked to the water. Beneath the receding waters, a conch lay half buried in the sand. I dug it out and washed it. I looked at it beautiful patterns, wondering of its journeys across the seas. I recalled vaguely how its occupant, the hermit crab, outgrows it, abandons it for a bigger shell, a perished shellfish must have left behind. They say that, if you put the conch to your ear, you could hear the whisper of your soul. I did and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. It humbled me to think that there were forces of nature at work from time immemorial, shaping the world I live. I had, for a time now, stopped noticing the world around me and concentrated in the cocoon where my universe existed. It was time, once again to pause to smell the roses and to hear the drum of the woodpecker near my home. I looked at the overhead sun and reached into my pocket for the second slip of paper and read.
Reach Back: Reach Back to what, I wonder? To the past, I guess. I closed my eyes and lay on the grass. I could see me and my sister, playing on the sands below. We used to come every summer to the beach when we were young. I could see my mother, settling on the mat with a book and my dad assembling the shade. Things were simple then, the school, homework and the exams; we had places to go, time to visit, things to do. Games were simple, involved running, hopping and climbing trees... I remembered when circus came to town when I was a child. We were ready to go when my father picked up an important call. We were sure that we would cancel on the outing. He apologized to his superior saying he won’t be able to make it to office, due to an important engagement. When we were about to leave, my mother said, "You know, Circus would be here next spring too", my father answered, "Circus would, Childhood wouldn't"
I smiled at the memories of my sister and me stealing from the neighbor’s apple tree. I scrapped my knee and we got into a row at home for mischief. My sister took the brunt of the punishment. Interesting, I have not thought about my sister lately, she died of brain fever when I was in school. I thought of my lovely wife and our 2 beautiful girls. I frowned trying to remember when I took them out the last time. It seems a long time ago. My girls doesn’t seem to have the fun, I used to have when I was young. Now beaches are crowded and apple trees rare.
I look at the sun making way to the west. I reach for my 3rd prescription.
Reflect and Re-examine: I became defensive, what is wrong with my goals? All of us desire to provide for our family, the best of the world and be happy. But you weren’t happy, an inner voice whispered. I reflected; there are times to see the sleeping heads of my daughters and leave at daybreak before they wake up. I was missing out of their growing years. I miss the times; I bounced them on my knees and listen to the stories. But you were a good analyst, Long hours are part of your job, said another voice True, but was it required anymore? I wonder. I have earned for all the luxuries I need for my family. I could afford to stop working, but was terrified to do nothing afterwards, unknowingly I became a workaholic. My pal suggested an idea of my own consultancy. I was reluctant for fear of failure. That seemed a long time ago. Now I toyed with the idea. To work at my own pace would be nice. To each, their own.
As I grappled and made peace with my own dilemma, I watched the sun start to sink into the horizon. The doctor was wise; He understood the efficiency of examining our soul in solitude, away from the confining wall, within the fold of nature. I reached for my last note.
Those last words I turned and stopped; reached into my pocket and read those last words and smiled. I let the note fly, put the conch in my pocket and reached for a stick. I wrote on the sand, just before the tide came in. I don’t guarantee to lead a stress free life again, when I do, I know where to come. I will once again pick up a shell and listen to the roar of the ocean. I walked to the car. As I started my car, I saw the waves washed away my words, remembered the note and let go.
Write the worries on the sand for the tide to wash away....
